August 30, 2009

It all comes back to God!!!

My children have been raised in a non traditional Christian family. Due to the fact that I am legally blind and cannot drive and that Ryan works every weekend. We have not been able to go to church, but a few times, in our children's life. We are believers and teach our children such but something was missing. They felt it and so did we.

About four months ago, we had to let Ryan's father go, as our caregiver. His behavior became erratic and we became afraid for our children. It was hard and we felt bad, we wanted to help him, but our children come first. We hired a neighbor college girl as our new caregiver, though the change was rough, our children are safe, and she has been a blessing.

About two months ago, Jessica and Hunter started asking more questions about God and Jesus. Most of the questions I could answer, but deep inside, I knew they were asking for something more. I thought long and hard about what that was. One day it came to me, they needed church. They needed a village of believers. They needed a village of teachers. They needed a village of guiders, They needed a bigger family in Christ.

I asked our caregiver, if she felt comfortable, in taking us to church on Sundays. She was very happy to do so. We went the following Sunday, the children took to Sunday School, like they have always been there. They are excited about learning more about God and Christ. They can't wait to memorize their bible verses and go to church Sunday mornings. Everyday they speak about and pray to God.

After a month of going to church, I have realised that I had also missing something. After everything we have been through with our disabilities and health problems, I had lost my reliance on God, my belief that he would help us, that he would make our life different. I gave into the hopelessness. I never lost my faith, I just lost my way. Since I have started going back to church, God is really speaking to my heart. Every sermon seems directed at me and my faith is starting to grow again. I am beginning to find hope again.

I truly believe, that four months ago, God decided it was time for change. Ryan's father's behavior had been getting bad for awhile, but we finally had enough, Ryan stepped up, and told his dad that we had enough. Something I thought he would never be able to do. God gave us the opportunity to hire someone who was a believer, who is good with and has experience with children with special needs, and who could drive (Ryan's dad does not drive). Even though he closed one door, he opened a even wider door.

Last Friday, a friend told me about a wonderful special needs soccer program for children. I spoke with the program director and he told me that practices and games were on the weekend. Four months ago, that wouldn't even have been a possibility. I still have to ask our caregiver, if she would be willing to take the Kid's to soccer, but I am sure she will. More open doors!

Yes, it all comes back to God!!!