Why Father's Day Means So much to Us!!!

(Why Ryan Means So much To me)

Please read the story, I know it is long, but it explains so much.

Along time ago, Ryan and I were the quintessential 21 century family. He worked and I worked. I took our 1 month old Baby, Jessica, to work with me because as Head Geriatric Caregiver I was allowed to. We were relatively well off. Three months later, I found out I was pregnant with my son, Hunter.

Almost from the start, I was sick. First high blood pressure, then Pre-Eclampsia, then Eclampsia. I had to stop working very early into my pregnancy. Hunter was born by by c-section and had severe health problems. We thought I would get better after the birth, but for some unforeseen reason I became even worse. After many months of the my GP telling me it was Post Partum Depression, I ended up in the hospital with a form of Hydrocephalus. While there, a neurologist examined me and told me that he was pretty sure that I also had Multiple Sclerosis.

After I was released from the hospital, I was given a Neurologist by my insurance. She felt there was something Neurological going on but wasn't sure what it was. The next 3 years, she basically bled my insurance dry and then was dropped by my insurance. All the while, I was loosing some of my ability to use my legs and feet, use my arms and hands, feel in my hands and feet, hear, and see. Not to mention, I had a lot of neurological pain.

During that time, I could not work and Ryan's family oriented company demoted him from his supervisory position and cut his hours to 16 hrs a week. All because he asked for two days off to watch Jessica, while Hunter and I were in the hospital. They had even approved him for the time off and he had just had an excellent review. We went from doing okay to doing poorly financially. We struggled to pay the bills and eventually went on Welfare, Ryan got a part-time job with Home Depot, and I got approved for Social Security.

Well, of course, the imaginable occurred. I got pregnant on our first vacation without our children, in five years. I saw specialists and had all the appropriate tests and screening. I had a perfect pregnancy and we expected a healthy baby boy. Matthew was born a robust beautiful baby boy. We were so happy.
Almost from the beginning, Matthew had problems with his blood sugar being low, he had problems eating, then the vomiting began, the screaming and fussiness, constipation, and he developed a rash all over his body. The hospital pediatrician said Matthew would be fine and sent us home. Turns out Matthew has a almost total protein intolerance, Acid Reflux, Gastro Esophageal Reflux, Chronic Constipation, Horrible Eczema, and problems reaching milestones due to weakness on the right side of his body. Our dream of finally having a perfectly healthy child was crushed.

About a year and a half ago, I started seeing a new Neurologist and he told me that he could see lesions on my MRI from 2003. He said he was pretty sure I had MS but needed to run some more test. This January, I had a major exacerbation, combined with all the evidence on MRI's and other neurological tests, I was finally diagnosed in February with Secondary Progressive MS. In March, Ryan started giving me Betaseron shots, every other day, to slow down the progress of my MS.

Last Month, Matthew began having more and more trouble walking. We video taped him and then took him to see the head Pediatrician of his Pediatrician's office. The Pediatrician feels that Matthew may have Mild Cerebral Palsy, but because Matthew's walk is deteriorating, he may have Muscular Dystrophy. Matthew will be seeing a Pediatric Neurologist soon and will have a lot of testing.

Now you may be asking, why have I told you the story of my families life? The reason is, you would have to live it to see what I see.

Most men (I am not saying all) would have left when they were faced with some of these challenges. Not our sweet Ryan!!! He has stayed with us through everything. He has grown and adapted to everything life has thrown at us. Every obstacle has made us stronger as a family.
Not only does Ryan go to work, he takes us to doctor/specialist/testing appointments, he does errands, he cleans, he doles out Meds, he gives me my shots, He takes over for me on my bad days, he cooks, he plays with the children, he helps with homework, he takes the children to school, gives the children their baths, and helps them get dressed. He is a disciplinarian but concedes and apologizes when he has been to harsh. He is willing to listen to others on child rearing ideas and try the new idea if it seems right. He respects our children's feelings and listens to them.
He is a loving father that wants the best for his family. He is more than I could have ever asked in a Father for our children. I am not saying that he is perfect but as a father he is one of the best. I thank God for him every day!!!