August 2, 2008

My Father-In-Law Made Me Very Mad Today!!!

On our drive home from picking the kid's up from their Grandpa's, Jessica says "Grandpa says he wishes Dh Ryan would work more, so Grandpa would be paid more" Ryan and I both look at each other in shock. Then Jessica goes on to say that, "Grandpa is poor and only has money to spend on food. Grandpa needs more money. I am scared about him!"

I understand that Grandpa does not have lots of money. The reason that is so, is because he lost his temper for the millionth time and yelled/argued with his boss one to many times. Something we warned him repeatedly not to do.He would tell us how he would never get fired, because only he can do the work he does. So guess what happened? YUP, he got FIRED! He then received unemployment for awhile,waited to almost the last check, then went to look for a job, but could not find a job. Why you ask? because his attitude, work history, and interview appearance sucks!!!

He had been watching our children on the weekends, when Ryan worked. So out of the goodness of my heart, I applied for Child Action, so he could be payed for taking care of our children. I even got him two months retroactive payment. We strongly suggested moving to a cheaper place or get a roommate and/or get another part time job to supplement his income. So what does he do, he does nothing.

I started getting scared that he will lose the house he is renting, and move in with us(his plan not ours). So I split half of Ryan's In Home Supportive Services work hours and pay with him. So now he can stay in his 2 bedroom house, pay his bills, and have food to eat. I am fully aware that he does not have much extra spending cash, but that is his fault.

I am floored that this man can talk trash about DH to our children! How dare he!!!!

Ryan call him on it tonight. The only thing he can say, is that he talked to Ryan like that, when he was little, so he doesn't see why can't he talk to his grandchildren like that. Uhhh excuse me, no one can be that dense. Number one rule, do not talk trash about people to children (EVER), especially the ones that employ you. We have issues with the way Grandpa takes care of our children, but we do not talk about them, in front of the children.

This is not the first time Grandpa has made the comment. But it is the first time he used the children to deliver it. I/we have explained that Ryan would be able to work more if Grandpa would get a drivers license and a car. We even said that he could use our car, if need be. If he could drive, he could take the kids and I, to school, therapy, doctors, specialists, tests, and after school activities. He says, "yes, I understand" and then does nothing. Oh, but he can complain!!!

He above everyone should understand, that with three special needs/disabled children and a wife with disabilities, it is impossible for Ryan to work full-time. I am sure, Ryan may be able to work more hours, if someone else could drive. I cannot drive because I am legally blind due to a lesion on my Occipital Lobe. Boy, do I miss driving. Financially, we could use the extra pay. We have learned to do without and finagle with our budget, but we have a beautiful, happy, close, loving, family a place to live, food in our tummies, and clothes on our back, so we are in no way poor!!! It would be nice to not to have to worry so much though. What Grandpa doesn't realise, if Ryan gets a new job, it will probably be during the week and because the kids are in school, Grandpa will make less money.

I hate this, because I am kinda stuck dealing with all of this. I would be afraid to fire him, because he may not be able to get a job. I can't let Ryan's father be homeless and in the poor house. Ryan is not so attached to FIL, due to anger issues caused by FIL drug problems, during Ryan's teens. Grandpa has somewhat shaped up since then and is no longer doing drugs. Ryan is more likely to snap and fire grandpa, than I.

I just cannot fathom what is wrong with this man. He is biting the hands that feed him. Does he want us to be angry enough that we fire him. Geez, it is pretty low when you go to someones children to try to get a message through to the parents. Due to their disabilities, all three children deal with anxiety issue, especially Jessica. Why would you make her worry even more??? Goodness, that makes me the angriest of all.

Thanks for listening to me vent. If anyone has an idea how we can get out of this situation, please leave us a message. Thanks again!!!!