November 15, 2008

How are you supposed to react when your Primary Care Physician tells you that.......

It is time for you to start making some end of life decisions. In regards, to making sure that your children will be taken care of financially after you are gone.

I know that my health has taken a turn for the worse and that I will be having major surgery soon.

But.....Did he just tell me indirectly??? That he is not sure how much longer I have to live!

Ryan and I left this appointment very sad and scared about where our future is taking us.

I am not ready to make those kind of desicions yet.

Is anyone ever really ready???

November 13, 2008

We see the Geneticist on December 4th with Matthew
.....and all I wanna do is scream "Please Help Us!!!"

I just want to know if my children are going to go through the hell I am. Is there a way to make it so they don't???
No one should have to go through the pain I feel ever day.
Pain in my nerves, body, and heart.

Pain.....My heart hurts because I wanna see my children grow up!
Pain.....My primary telling me that I need to get the children SSI, so that they will be taken care off when I am gone.
Pain.....that my children struggle everyday.

I want to know what is causing all our health problems... I want awnsers...and I want a cure.
Please don't let my babies have to suffer even more than they already do.
Please don't let my babies go through not knowing if they will survive to see their kids grow up!!!