SO WE ARE WAITING & WATCHING

We are waiting, to hear when and if Jessica will be going to UCSF Children's MD Clinic. It all depends on our infamous insurance. I won't even go there. It would take at least a week to write down about all the stupid referrals, specialists, meds, and equipment they have denied our children.

We are watching, Jessica struggle everyday to do things she used to do with ease. The Motrin is losing it's ability to relieve her of her pain. She refuses to use her walker, because she is starting to have arm problems also. She wants to be like the other children, so she only uses her stroller when she can't stand the pain anymore. She is having lots of down in the dumps times. She is struggling big time and there is not much we can do to help her.

Her school is not helping her the way it could be. She comes home everyday more exhausted and more in pain. She has come home and burst into tears and has cried herself to sleep due to the pain. On the weekends, I make her rest and we do not see the escalation in pain that we do during the school week. Ryan's says, that if something doesn't change soon, we are going to have to home school her next year. I feel that it would be a big mistake. She doesn't see me as a teacher, so she doesn't learn from me, and Ryan doesn't have the patience. Plus she needs the socialization and would miss the people there. I would hate to have to take away that from her also. She has already had to quit Ballet and didn't get to go on her field trip because she wouldn't have been able to make the hike. I guess we will have some hard decisions to make this summer.

I have been trying to think of something that will cheer her up. I have decided to take her to see the Hannah Montana Movie. I have always been against shows like hers, but if it will give Jessica any joy at all, I will give up a tiny bit of my all that's natural and pure parenting. Bad Mommy, Bad Mommy!!! What's worse is that I am seriously thinking of taking her to one of her concerts. I seriously need medication, I know!!!! I still will not let her dress like Miley Cirus. I gotta keep some of my standards. LOL!!!

Stayed Tuned!!!!!